1 girl, 1 red solo cup and an 8th of mushrooms

I hope this story makes you smile, laugh and feel better about your life.

Fall of 2019. Went to my second local festival, usually do the festival vibe in the back yard but got invited out. Go up Thursday morning. Set up tent begin day drinking. At 7pm I began CHUGGING liquor like my life depended on it. By 9pn I finished a half a 1.75 of tequila, 2 beers and several henny swigs. I’m 5’2 and 140lbs so I got fucking drunk. I was falling all over the place and my husband threw my in the tent. I laid on my stomach and vomited and pissed myself all through the night. Next day Friday, took some Advil and walked around like the living dead. That night I took LSD and went to some shows. The L saved me that night. I did 30,000 steps on that trip. Next morning Saturday. Woke up sore af. I haven’t eaten anything but $2 grill cheeses for 3 days now. I also have not shit. Little back story, I have stomach problems and never shit daily so I never saw the necessity of a daily poop. Saturday afternoon I get some real food, chicken and rice. Take nap wake up and take 8th of mushrooms. Laying in my tent I’m coming up hard, we lemon teached the shrooms. All of a sudden I feel WEIRD, like I’ve tripped hundreds of times before and never had this feeling. It felt like I had a 2 x 4 growing in my stomach. We have a 200 square-foot tent so I start pacing back-and-forth in my purple unicorn onesie. And then as if God himself shined a light down on me I realized I had to poop. I’ve never shit while I was Trippin ever I also have not shit since Wednesday morning and it is now Saturday night. I’m about a 2 to 5 minute walk from the Porta potty’s depending on how fast you walk. I knew that I had about 30 seconds before I just shit myself my husband who is also on mushrooms was laying on the air mattress I start explaining to him the distressing situation in my ass hole and soon our tent will be in. He’s telling me to just go to the Porta potty’s and I make eye contact with him in such a deep meaningful way and I’ve never done the sense and I told him to get me a fucking solo cup. Reluctantly he did I start taking off my clothes in the tent and he goes well not in the fucking tent. So he makes me go outside luckily our tent has a screen porch area. So he sets up a chair behind me wrapped me in a blanket put the blanket over the chair and hands me my cup. I’m squatting there and I start projectile diarrhea shit into a solo cup now peeking on an eighth of mushrooms. I am making eye contact with my neighbor through their camp screens they can’t see me but I can see them the entire time I’m sitting there shitting. I’m also right on the edge of the path so tons of people are walking by me luckily it’s dark out it’s maybe like 1030 at night now. I realize that the cup I’m shitting in is getting full. I’m not done shitting so I asked my husband for another cup and all I hear is tons of rustling and frantic searching for more cups. I ended up filling up two solo cups with shit clean myself up and then I put the cups right next to my fiancé’s car. Got back in bed and just act like nothing happened. Five minutes later my fiancé is like where the fuck did you put those shit cups, so I told him, right by your car. He got up and went outside for like five minutes came back inside and said that they were taken care of. The next day I asked him what he did with those come to find out right as he went outside and put them in a plastic shopping bag the little golf cart that takes the trash happen to drive by so he just chucked my shit cups right on the back of the trash cart and went back to bed. I waited a year to share this story on here not embarrassed by it by any means in fact it’s one of my favorite stories to tell people. I hope that this made you feel better about something that happened in your life. I’d also like to add the neighbor that I was making eye contact with is now one of my best friends and yes they do know the story and I received a solo cup and a bottle of tequila for my birthday. This story is legendary in my friend circle.

submitted by /u/PurpleUnicorn72
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/festivals/comments/iy9mo4/1_girl_1_red_solo_cup_and_an_8th_of_mushrooms/

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